The Fall
by lyndseysmeltzer
Summary: We all hated the season 2 end scene, so here's my take on what should have happened. (And now I've added some new stuff if you want to check that out too.) Oh, sad day for me, but I don't own Castle, all of that belongs to Mr. Andrew Marlowe and company at ABC.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This was inspired by midnightread's What If chapter 1. Please read it, it's amazing. Also, I know pretty much everybody has made a crack at this scene, so I'm sure there's similarities. Please review, tell me what you think. Well, without further ado, here's the end seen of 2x24, as we all know it should have played out.

* * *

"See you in the fall." He smiled over his shoulder as he walked away with Gina when it should have been _her_. It should have been _her_.

Kate looked away as they stepped into the elevator, not able to watch him any longer. She was going to cry. She was going to break apart and crumble all over the precinct floor, in front of everyone. She knew they'd all been watching. She hadn't cared in the slightest until this exact moment, when all she wanted to do was disappear completely, fade to dust and be blown away by the steady breeze of the air conditioning.

She couldn't bear the thought of turning and seeing the looks she was certain were plastered on the faces of her friends, expressions of pity and awkwardness, so she didn't. She stalked forcibly to the break room, not even stopping to close the door behind her. No one would bother her just now, they all knew enough to give her some space.

She wanted coffee, craved it almost as much as she craved his touch, but she couldn't bring herself to make any just yet; that would mean facing the reality that he wasn't there to make it for her. Instead she sank down on the couch in the corner and put her head in her hands. She didn't even try to stifle the flow of tears that began its decent down her cheeks. Why had she hesitated when he'd first asked her? Why hadn't she just said yes? Why had she ever agreed to go out with Demming in the first place? Why hadn't she just jumped him after their first case when he'd asked if she wanted to go to dinner? But she knew why, and that made her want to cry even harder.

But she didn't. In fact, she resolved not to shed a single tear more for Richard Castle. So she got up and walked over to the espresso machine. It had barely begun to percolate when damn it all, she felt hot streaks running down her cheeks again. This time she knew it was no use to try and stop them.

Rick hated this. He wanted to go to the Hamptons with Beckett, no, with _Kate_, not Gina. But he definitely didn't want to be there alone and he had loved Gina once, hadn't he?

He tried not to look at Kate as the elevator doors closed, but he did anyway. For a second he thought she looked… what? Sad? Deflated? Rejected? But of course that was just his imagination. He turned to Gina, saw the angry look on her face and figured he'd been caught. Now he was really in for it. But her face softened before she spoke.

"Rick, you are a moron." The elevator began its decent, but he didn't feel it, just stared at Gina. "Why are you taking me to the Hamptons when we both know it will only end badly, and anyways, it's obvious you'd rather be with her." Gina pointed towards the doors even though they were floors below Beckett now. Her tone was stern, but held no malice, she wasn't angry; she was resigned to the truth of the words she spoke. "You should have asked _her_, Rick, not me."

"I did. She said no." Rick replied before realizing that the words would wound her. But Gina didn't seem phased by his honesty.

"That may be true, but by the look on that woman's face she wanted to say yes." The elevator dinged its arrival at ground level. Gina stepped halfway out, hitting the button for the homicide floor as she went. Putting a hand on Rick's chest she said "And we both know you're going to go back up there. All I ask is that you try to manage at least a few chapters before fall." She pushed off him and let the doors close.

Rick swallowed hard, hoping she was right, because there was no turning back now. The thirty seconds it took the elevator to ascend seemed an eternity, but finally the doors opened.

He knew she wouldn't have gone back to the "party", so he headed for the first place he could think she might want to be. The break room. She could find solitude there, and if he knew her at all, she'd want coffee.

Halfway across the bullpen he saw her, had a straight shot view through the doorway of her standing at the espresso machine, seemingly composed. But just as he was sure Gina had gotten it wrong, that she was just making herself a coffee, not caring that he was gone, the light caught her face and he saw streaks shining down her cheek and he knew. Knew he actually had read her intonation correctly before Gina had shown up. Knew he _had_ heard a hint of jealousy in her tone when she told him to have a good summer. Knew he hadn't imagined the hurt on her face as the elevator doors closed.

He sped up, desperate now to get to her. Nothing would stop him this time.

Rick crossed the threshold of the break room in the same instant that the espresso machine began spitting out Kate's coffee, filling the room with its delicious smell. So focused was she on her cup, Kate didn't notice him until he roughly took her face between his hands.

Kate watched, mesmerized, as the smooth brown liquid fell gracefully inter her mug, smelling the rick scent that would forever remind her of _him_. More tears spilled over at the thought; would this be her last cup?

And then there he was, his palms on her cheeks, pulling her towards him. For a brief moment she thought maybe she'd fallen asleep on the couch and this was just a sweet, cruel dream. But then his lips were crushing hers and she knew it couldn't be a dream. He was there, kissing her, and her heart shattered with joy.

Kate's hands flew to his hair, softer than she'd ever imagined, and oh had she imagined this moment. His arms flew around her waist, his fingers trailing up her spine, making her shudder.

A low moan escaped from the back of her throat and his hands lowered to the small of her back, pulling her closer in response. She gasped and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth. She tangled hers with it, desperate for the taste of him.

It was his turn to moan then and she melted at the sound and vibration of it. She wrapped one leg up around his waist, needing to be closer. He grabbed at her thighs and hitched her up onto the counter. Her hip collided with the espresso machine and she heard the cup fall to the floor, shattering hot liquid everywhere, but she didn't care. Kate was finally _kissing_ him. She'd spent two long years waiting for this moment, all she wanted to do was lose herself in it. In _him_.

A door slammed in the distance, and then there was the distinct sound of not one, but two chairs being forcibly thrown to the ground, then another door slamming.

Kate reluctantly pulled away from him. What the hell was going on? She looked around and saw Lanie, Esposito, and Ryan all walking quickly away from two overturned chairs, and the shades on Montgomery's door, and the conference room door next to it, were swaying. Kate smiled and looked back at Rick. He looked like he was five and had just been told his allotted number of Christmas presents had been tripled.

She placed a swift peck on his lips and hopped off the counter, searching for a towel to clean up the mess they'd made.


	2. Knockdown

**A/N:** So, I received so many favorites and follows to this story that I started thinking about what else to do with it. I wish I was talented enough to think up a continuation for that story, but I'm just no good with the relationship stuff. So instead I decided to do a series of one-shots of scenes in which Castle and Beckett could have taken the leap (made "The Fall"), but sadly didn't. I can't promise I'll be updating this regularly (honestly I'm using this as a release of frustration coming from other things), and they definitely won't be in any sort of order, but I'll try my best to keep everybody happy. Also, I'd like to note that I've never really tried the sexy stuff before, so we'll see how far I end up going with that. And if any of you are following my other story Moments, don't worry, I'm not giving up (hopefully I'll have something more up tomorrow). Honestly I was just feeling a bit uninspired today, so I wrote this instead.

Oh, and I've changed the rating on this to T, because I really don't know why I ever rated it K+ to begin with : )

So (now that I've written an incredibly long note) here's the surprise second installment. Just my opinion on how "Knockdown" could have ended.

* * *

Kate hated doing it, but she really didn't have a choice. Trying to ignore the sharp pang in her chest, she tore her lips from Castle's and spun, hitting the guard with the butt of her gun. Her entire body ached with the loss of his touch, his smell, his taste. Oh God his tongue... _NO_, she had to focus; Ryan and Espo were in danger, because of her. She breathed heavily through her mouth, trying not to pant, but Castle had left her breathless. She was suddenly glad her back was to him. And then she heard him speak.

"That was amazing." Three words, and her resolve all but melted. She wanted nothing more than to turn and melt into him again, finish what he'd started. But that wasn't an option, not currently, so she walked away from him, knowing he'd follow.

* * *

Kate peeked around the strip of metal she was using as shelter, knowing her reprieve wouldn't last long. For a split second all she could see was the barrel of Lockwood's gun, pointed straight at her head. And then she saw Castle. He leapt from God knew where and tackled Lockwood as the rifle fired, missing spectacularly. She ran around the forklift and stopped dead, barely managing to keep her own gun from clattering to the floor. There was Castle, straddling Lockwood and absolutely pummeling his face. He would likely have a concussion.

The wave of warm affection and scalding lust that she'd been so diligently keeping at bay crashed over her and it was all she could do to stay upright. Castle stared at Lockwood's face until she regained her motor functioning skills and walked up to him. He rolled himself to a sitting position on the hard cement and looked up at her, a mix of triumph and shame coloring his features. All she could do was stare; she hadn't known he was capable of that kind of violence. And it had been for her.

She wanted to kiss him again. Her blood was singing with adrenaline, every nerve in her body begging to connect with him, tingling in anticipation. But she couldn't kiss him, not here. Instead she settled for gripping his shoulder before rolling Lockwood over and cuffing him, her arm still vibrating with the electricity touching Castle had sparked.

* * *

It had been an hour since she broke their kiss. Sixty minutes since she'd felt his lips on hers; she was aching for their return. The adrenaline of the gun battle had long since drained away, leaving her with nothing but the slow burn of desire coursing through her veins.

She had yet to talk to Castle, he'd been too preoccupied with getting his hand bandaged to do much more than look at her longingly. But she had called Josh. She knew she was a bitch for doing it like this, breaking up with him over the phone after kissing another man, but she just didn't care. It wasn't fair to Josh for her to stick with him when she was feeling all the things she was currently feeling. He hadn't even argued really, though it was obvious he was angry; neither said it, but they both knew the breakup was about Castle. When she hung up she immediately went to find him, knowing how despicable she was, but ignoring the guilt in favor of eagerness and slight anxiety.

She found him still in the back of the ambulance, which was a little too public for the conversation she had in mind.

"Hey there Chuck Norris," she greeted before taking his good hand and tugging lightly so he would climb out. Scanning around them, she didn't see any onlookers, so she kept his hand in hers, pulling him into a side alley.

It was dirty, and smelled a little like urine, or was that vomit? It would have to do.

"Beckett where're we goi-" she cut off his question by throwing him against a disgusting and heavily graffitied wall. Her fingers stung with heat when she pressed them into his chest. One kiss and she was already this far gone; she could only imagine... Her face flushed as she did imagine, her eyes raking down and back up his body. If she could just kiss him again, feel his hands in her hair, his breath on her cheek, his chest against hers, his hips- _no_! She had to say something first; it was vital that he understand.

"Don't _ever_ do that again." She shoved his chest a little too forcefully and he fell back against the wall again, hurt and apology warring for dominance on his face.

"Beckett I'm sorry I know it was stupid but it was the only thing I could think to do. The guy wasn't buying the drunk act and... it was a spur of the moment decision.. I would never ki- I mean not without your- I was afraid we'd get caught and... and... Why are you laughing?" His rambling died away confusion taking over and, was that fear in his eyes? He was afraid she would maim him as she'd been threatening to do since the day they'd met. He didn't understand. That wasn't what she'd meant. She took a step closer and his eyebrows flew up.

"I didn't mean the kiss." She looked him square in the eyes and set her jaw, even as she was losing her focus with each inch nearer she drew. "Never, _ever_, try and get yourself killed on my behalf again, Castle. You got lucky tonight; it won't happen again." _Well, if he plays his cards right_... She thought as she brought her hands up to rest on his chest. She could feel his heart beating a staccato rhythm against her fingers, matching hers. "As for that kiss, however," she rocked her hips into his and they both gasped at the contact that sent fire racing through her, "you should definitely try again." She wrapped her fingers around his neck and pulled herself up, her entire body rippling with anticipation.

But then she felt his hands on her hips, pushing her back. When had he placed them there? His eyes were dark, but caution ruled over desire. His voice was deep and husky when he spoke.

"Josh?" Her knees went weak and it took conscious effort to stay standing. Here she was, offering herself to him, literally, and what he cared about was whether or not she would need to feel guilty about this later. She didn't want to discuss Josh, didn't want either of them thinking about him ever again. She looked Castle directly in the eyes, almost glaring at him, willing him to understand so she wouldn't have to say it. She saw the minuscule change in his face as the caution he'd shown earlier faded and was replaced by something akin to disbelief and hope. That was all Kate needed.

She lunged forward, crushing her lips to his, and finally, _finally_ she was kissing him again. How had she ever survived the last two and a half years without doing this? This is what they were made to do, kiss each other.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and her fingers carded through his hair, a moan escaping past her lips. Then his tongue invaded her mouth and she heard, was that a whimper? Whatever it was, it sent a shiver down her spine and she pressed herself more firmly into him.

She was getting lightheaded, but she didn't want to break the kiss, not this time, so she fought it, kept her mouth on his for as long as she could. It was Castle who eventually pulled away and rested his forehead on hers. They were both panting unashamedly, sharing air.

It was less than thirty seconds before her hands started to roam, pulling his shirt from his pants and sliding under it. She heard his breath hitch when she dug her nails into the skin over his ribs. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, palms flat on his back, and tugged him closer again. Before she knew what had happened, Castle grabbed her by the waist, spun them around, and slammed her against the wall with the perfect balance of urgency and caution.

Still breathing heavily, he gently wound the scarf from around her neck before hurling it over his shoulder as he began pressing open-mouthed kisses along her jaw, behind her ear, down her neck, and across as much of her clavicle as he could reach. A quiet moan escaped her and she grabbed his face between her hands, pulling his mouth back to hers.

Suddenly his urgency was gone, replaced by a reverence that shattered her heart. His mouth was slow and languid on hers now, and she could feel something far deeper than lust coursing between them, but now was not the time for thinking about all the implications, the future and what this meant for her, for _them_. Now was the time for letting go, feeling, and most of all: touching. She ran the pads of her fingers over his jawline, down his neck and around to his shoulder blades, finding his muscles more toned than she'd ever realized.

Meanwhile his hands roamed as well, leaving scorching handprints on her waist and traveling upward before settling on her ribs, his thumbs gently rubbing circles dangerously close to her breasts. She hitched a leg around his thigh and pressed herself closer, her body perfectly aligning with his as she felt heat converge and coil in her lower abdomen.

Just as she felt his palms low on the base of her spine, and his fingers even lower, arching her back so she was impossibly even closer, and felt them falling over the edge of indecency towards something that was far too private for their current location, a car horn sounded around the corner at the end of the alley. Castle's weight and heat disappeared in an instant and the aching bereavement it left was staggering. Both whipped their heads to see if they'd been caught, but saw only the ambulance Castle had vacated minutes before rolling past.

Kate started laughing, and soon enough Castle joined in. She looked at him, standing a few feet away; his hair was a mess and his clothes were disheveled to say the least, and she could only imagined she looked much the same. As their laughter died down, Castle turned to her, his face serious and cautious again. She hated the edge of doubt lying behind his eyes. He took a step forward and placed a hand on her cheek. The memory of this exact action earlier threatened to overwhelm her and she almost dove at him again. It was the look in his eyes that stopped her. Along with the doubt, fear, and maybe resignation, were mixing now. What was he thinking?

"What now?" He asked simply and her chest tightened as her heart rate sped up. She didn't know. She hadn't thought past coaxing him out of the ambulance. Panic washed over her as she thought about all this could mean. The boys and Montgomery would find out and he wouldn't be able to work with her anymore; Lanie and Alexis and Martha would know and… and what if his family hated her, resented her for making him wait so long? For putting him in harms way time and time again? And what if she ruined it, them? What if she was too damaged and he left. What if he left and she never saw him again? She didn't think she could survive that.

But then her eyes met his and a complete, all-consuming calm swept through her. This was Castle. He had waited for her, stayed by her side for years without expecting anything in return. This was the man who brought her coffee every morning. No, he wasn't leaving. She smiled and bit her lower lip, watching his eyes darken before she spoke.

"Take me home."

* * *

**A/N 2:** So there it is. I hope you enjoyed it. Please send me reviews telling me what you thought. And if you think this is an awful idea, send me that too and I'll keep the rest of my fantasy endings to myself.

Also, if you want to see my take on what _actually_ happened in that end scene, go to my profile page and read "Knockdown Ending" (I know, it's such an original title, but what can you do?). And if you've made it this far without hitting the "previous page" button and reading something else, I commend you.


	3. The Third Man

**A/N: **So... this ended up a long ways away from where it started. Thank you to TORONTOSUN for the suggestion, I hope you like it. This is different from the last two because apparently I decided to be romantic and sappy today. Please review, tell me what you think!

castlefringereader, I hope this was updated soon enough for you :) I was so flattered by your 90 "more"s.

* * *

Rick wasn't exactly sure how this had happened, but he damn well knew he wasn't going to question it. When he'd suggested Remy's, he'd been sure she would turn him down, and he knew she almost had. But now they were sitting at a table waiting for their burgers. They were the only ones there because it was so late, so as she took a sip of her strawberry shake he took a chance and leaned towards the window and began searching through the song selections for the jukebox. He could feel her rolling her eyes at him, but he didn't care. He found the song he wanted, "Baby Sittin' Boogie" and put a quarter in the slot. But when he went to press the button he missed and the first notes of "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow PolkaDot Bikini" blared from across the room. He looked at Beckett, horrified that she would think he chose the song on purpose. It wasn't that he didn't like the song, but it kind of gave the wrong impression.

She raised an eyebrow at him and just as he was sure she'd shoot him where he sat, she glanced around, leaned over the table towards him, and started to sing along to the female part.

"Two, three, four tell the people what she wore!" He stared at her in confused astonishment as the song continued to play. She was looking at him expectantly as Brian Hyland crooned his description. Finally he caught on and haphazardly sang the second half of the chorus.

"An itsy bitsy, teenie weenie yellow polkadot bikini, so in the locker she wanted to stay." Beckett's face cracked in the biggest smile he'd ever seen from her before starting again.

"Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more!" Rick wasn't about to waste an opportunity to not only show off the musical prowess his mother had spent years forcing him to cultivate, but also to make Kate Beckett laugh, so he threw himself full-tilt into the performance.

"She was afraid to come out in the open." He drummed his fingers on the table on beat. "So a blanket around her she wore. She was afraid to come out in the open. And so she sat bundled up on the shore."

"Two, three, four tell the people what she wore!" Beckett had been laughing while she watched Castle, but she didn't miss her cue.

By the end of the song, they were both in stitches, all notions of hunger and burgers forgotten for the moment. When her shoulders stopped shuddering, Beckett fished a quarter out of her purse, quickly looked through the selection, and picked a song without letting Rick see. After a brief silence, "Yakety Yak" began to play and she smiled smugly at him.

It was then that their burgers arrived and he was happy to get her distracted while he found a few more quarters and lined up more songs for the jukebox. He didn't know exactly what it was about Beckett laughing at and singing along with some of his favorite guilty pleasure songs that was so sexy; maybe it was just the fact that she seemed to actually be enjoying herself and his company. But damn it if the look she was giving him right now didn't make him completely forget they were still in public.

When Barry Mann started thanking the guy who put the bomp in the bomp, ba bomp, ba bomp, Rick realized he hadn't chosen this song. He looked questioningly at Beckett, but she shook her head. They both turned to their waitress, a kind sixty-something woman who was now giggling as she wiped down the bar. Rick hung his head, only now realizing what they must look like; then he felt something bump the inside of his calf. No, it couldn't be, but then it was back and it most definitely _was_. Beckett's foot was slowly working its way up his calf, gently nudging behind his knee before beginning its trail up his thigh.

Rick looked up at her in astonishment to see a small, decidedly seductive smile curve her lips.

* * *

Kate didn't know why she'd accepted Castle's invitation to Remy's. It had been a spur-of-the-moment decision made largely by her stomach. She couldn't blame hunger for her decision to sing Brian Hyland though. No, that had been a conscious decision made by her brain; she'd wanted to get Castle to _relax_, something she'd never had to do before. She had seen his finger slip to the wrong button, though how was beyond her, and by the look he gave her, she knew he was terrified she'd maim him, so she put him at ease the first way she could think. Her date with the pin-up boy hadn't gone well, to say the least, and she really just wanted to have a little fun. And it didn't hurt that, when he was trying to be theatrical, Castle sounded a lot like Danny Zuko trying, and failing, to convince Sandy he couldn't sing.

She'd chosen "Yakety Yak" as a joke, but only because "You Talk Too Much" wasn't an option. As they ate she tried to decide exactly how much fire she was playing with here, but by the time she'd finished she'd accepted the fact that she honestly didn't care. And when it came to a night of any type of fun, she knew she could definitely do worse than Richard Castle.

When her foot first bumped into his leg, it was completely innocent. All she'd been _trying_ to do was cross her legs under the table. But the look of shock and the slight darkening of Castle's eyes, along with the song provided by their waitress, emboldened her, and she threw caution to the wind; if she was going to do this, she was sure as hell going to enjoy it. She gave him the most seductive look she could muster, and raked her foot up the inseam of his dress pants.

His eyes, growing wider by the second, met hers and she watched him swallow hard. She raised her hand for the check to answer his unasked question and he started digging for his wallet. The waitress smiled knowingly when Castle handed her what looked suspiciously like a fifty and started for the door with Kate on his heels.

* * *

Rick couldn't really remember the cab ride; it was all a bit of a haze. He heard Beckett give the cabbie her address, and then everything went foggy because she put her hand on his thigh and slowly slid it upwards.

All that he could think, now that they were riding the elevator up to her apartment and he actually _could_ think, was that he couldn't believe this was happening. Kate Beckett, whom he'd been chasing after for over a year now, was taking him back to her place. And she'd been the one to initiate it too. He'd been perfectly willing to just eat a meal with her, maybe laugh at some oldies songs, but _she_ had started singing, and _she_ had started touching, and _she_ had pulled him out of the cab with her when they reached her building.

They were now standing on opposite sides of the elevator though. He desperately hoped she wasn't reconsidering, now that they'd left neutral territory and reality was setting in. Because he could deal with her not wanting him most days, but after the last hour, he wasn't sure he could take another rejection. He looked up and realized she was watching him, her gaze intent and hard, like she was trying to make sense of something. Her eyes flicked to his mouth and back, darkening, as her lips spread into a smile again.

He couldn't help himself; he just needed proof that this was actually happening. He reached up and pinched his bicep as hard as he could.

* * *

Truthfully, Kate _had_ been doubting herself a little as they rode the elevator together. She hadn't had so much as a drop of alcohol in over two hours, and even on her "date" with Mr. July, she'd been too preoccupied with the case to really have that much wine. All of this proved that she couldn't possibly be drunk. So why did she feel pleasantly buzzed? If she wasn't drunk, why was her entire body thrumming and tingling? And why did she feel slightly lightheaded? She tried to look him in the eye, but ended up glancing at his mouth. And wasn't that evidence enough that she wanted to do…whatever it was they were about to do? Wasn't the simple fact that she could _not_ keep her mind from wondering about all of the things he could do to her enough proof that she _wanted_ him? She let her face crack into a smile and watched as Castle literally pinched himself, not able stifle her laughter when he cried out. Then she realized it was he that was making her feel drunk. _Castle_ was sending adrenaline coursing through her veins, making her blood sing with it.

When they finally reached her door, Castle put his hand on her arm before she could slide her key into the lock. She turned and saw the question on his face. Again she smiled, wondering why she had ever thought this man would treat her any way but right.

"Yes," she said, her voice a little rougher than she'd expected. "Yes. I want this. Yes I want _you_. Yes I want _us_." She could see relief wash over his features and her smiled broadened.

"And you won't re-" He tried to ask, but she cut him off.

"Never." And she knew it was true. She would not regret this, him. She may still have her own plethora of issues, but it was time she let someone in, let someone help her, heal her. She placed one hand on his chest as the other opened the door.

* * *

She said she wanted an "us." Rick's heart broke out of shear joy; his knees actually felt a bit weak when she laid a hand on his chest. And now she was leading him into her apartment, tugging him along by one of the lapels of his jacket.

He shut the door softly after he entered. Beckett was still tugging him forward, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. Wrapping his arms around her waist he stared at her, not making a move to kiss her, just simply soaking in her face and the way she felt nestled against him. Sliding out of her heels, Kate wove her arms behind his back as well, running her palms up and down over the taught muscles before resting her cheek on his chest. There would be time for passion and lust in a moment, but right now Rick just wanted to feel her hugging him.

* * *

Kate loved the feel of him, loved how easily she wrapped around his solid frame. She didn't know how long they stood there, not moving, just holding each other. At some point she removed her cheek from his chest and replaced it with her lips, peppering soft kisses through his shirt. When she nudged his collar out of the way with her nose and finally found the skin at the base of his neck he groaned, sending a shudder down her spine in response. His hands moved to her hair and slowly removed the clips and pins that had been pulling and poking all night. She let out a moan as she heard them falling to the floor and felt his fingers gently massaging her scalp.

Kate's hands found the back of Castle's neck and she pulled herself up, finally meeting their lips. The fire that had coursed through her earlier, making her tease him at the diner, was back in a flash and she pressed herself firmly into him, grinding their hips together as she allowed his tongue into her mouth to tangle with hers.

She gasped when he grabbed her by the thighs and hoisted her up to wrap her legs around his waist. He started walking toward her bedroom, never breaking their kiss, and she wondered absentmindedly how he knew where it was. All coherent thought abandoned her, however, when she felt her back hit her sheets and suddenly Castle was climbing on top of her, her legs still wrapped loosely around his waist.

"Aren't we supposed to have votive candles and tequila?" She asked against his neck as he nipped at her clavicle and his fingers tugged the hem of her shirt upwards.

"What?" He asked, his voice muffled as he pulled her shirt further up and kissed her navel, making her squirm a bit as she chuckled, waiting for him to catch on.

"Aren't we supposed to make hand margaritas by candlelight first?" She prompted again, tugging him back up to face her by his tie before deftly unknotting it. Recognition flashed across his face as he realized what she was referring to and she chuckled again.

"Did you just? You did- You just- Oh, Kate," her name came out as a moan, making heart pound painfully harder against her chest. "You will be the death of me." And then he was kissing her again, hard and passionate.

When he came up for air they began to work in earnest to divest each other of their clothes, both craving skin-to-skin contact.

* * *

Rick woke slowly. A smile spread across his face when he realized what had brought him back to consciousness. Fingers were gliding up and down across his chest and stomach. His smile broadened exponentially when he opened his eyes and saw that those fingers did in fact belong to Kate Beckett, and he hadn't dreamed it all.

"Morning." She said brightly through a smile as he rubbed his eyes.

"Sun's not up yet, s'not morning. S'still night." He replied, exaggerating his slurred, sleepy speech. He was most definitely awake now, the memories of the night before flooding his brain with images he hoped he'd never forget.

"Oh stop it. Here, I made you coffee." She extended a mug as he sat up and leaned against her headboard. They sipped their coffee in silence for a few moments, neither feeling the need to recap the previous night to know how amazing it had been. As the minutes drug on, however, Rick grew pensive.

Like she had asserted the night before, he wanted an "us," but he knew that without complete honesty, they would implode before they even got started. He hoped he wasn't shattering the rose-colored glasses too soon, but there was something he had to ask.

"Why now?"

* * *

"Rick," she sighed, because after last night he was definitely Rick, "I don't know." She watched as his face darkened a bit more with worry. "It was nothing really, a million little things that meant nothing. The look on your face when Brad called me, the way you left Miss Number Three to discuss the case with me, you're terror when that spider was on your shoulder," he shuddered but she didn't stop, suddenly needing him to understand, "the way you comforted me after Coonan… when everyone else just stood and watched… the fact that last night before we left the precinct all you wanted to say was that you were starving. And that's just what I can think of right now, Rick. Last night I finally put all the little pieces together and realized… I don't know." She stopped, looking away from him to unsuccessfully hide her tears.

Rick set his coffee cup on the nightstand and pulled her to him, whispering in her ear.

"It's okay, I understand."

* * *

**A/N 2: **Hopefully I didn't confuse you all by switching the perspective too much; if I did I'm terribly sorry (please review and tell me so). Oh, and before you yell at me too much, yes I know that Beckett had a dress in a garment bag at the end of the episode. I couldn't find a place for her to put it, and I didn't want her constantly having to pick it up and move it, so I just ignored it, sorry. I also might have taken some liberties with Remy's. I just kind of assumed it was a diner like the one's my parents used to take me to, but I truthfully have no idea. Also, if you want to listen to any of the songs I mention, google them because they are all _awesome_.

Again, I love feedback so review and tell me what you think.


	4. Nikki Heat

**AN: **Oh my goodness it's been almost two months! I'm so sorry guys, I have been so incredibly busy (though that's hardly an excuse). Oh, and I also moved, so there was that.

This one's for star90 who suggested I try my hand at "Nikki Heat." I wanted so badly to get this right, so that added to the time it's taken me to finish (and I'm still not sure I've really done it justice, but we'll see).

Before you start reading, I'd like to say that i this one they say a few things they regret, so please keep reading, I hope I'm not butchering the characters. If I am, tell me so I know. I tried to make it obvious that Kate feels bad, but she says some things in the heat of an argument that shouldn't be said. So there's your warning, I guess. (Please don't let this prevent you from reading though.)

So here you go, I hope you like it. Review so I know please :)

* * *

Kate walked out of the conference room, set her mug down on her desk, and tried not to think. She wanted to go home and take a bath and definitely _not_ think. Why had she ever thought it was a good idea to let an actress follow her around? Wasn't the writer bad enough?

She shuddered at the creepiness factor of seeing Natalie Rhoades dressed and made up as her. No, dressed and made up as _Nikki_, not her. That really couldn't be normal, could it? Living in a crawl space and following detectives around was one thing, but she had a wig and everything! No, that could not possibly be anywhere near normal; stalker maybe, normal, definitely not.

_Go home; don't think._ Kate instructed herself. But then she heard a loud thump coming from the elevator.

She had honestly thought they'd already left, had purposely waited in the conference room so she wouldn't have to see them walk out together. But the elevator must have taken longer than she'd expected.

As she turned she somehow knew what she was going to see, but when her eyes found the two of them, kissing unashamedly in the elevator, fresh shock and debilitating pain washed over her. She couldn't have looked away had her life depended on it. Judging by the way her heart felt as if it was simultaneously being crushed to dust and stabbed with an incredibly blunt knife, maybe her life _did_ depend on her strength to look away. However, like a train wreck, the scene captured and held firm on her attention, effectively twisting the knife deeper.

And then the doors closed. Kate was left with nothing but an empty bullpen and her raging imagination. Because seeing Castle kissing Natalie Rhoades, made up like her, was surreal. Like she was watching herself kiss him, had she but the courage.

But she wasn't kissing him; he was leaving with his very own fantasy version of her. And why shouldn't he? It's not like she had given him _anything_, not any inkling that the feelings he so obviously had for her were reciprocated. Then again, could she _really_ be sure what he felt? Yes, he'd asked her to accompany him to the Hamptons, and there was not way he'd actually meant just as friends, but that was months ago. There was no guarantee that those sentiments withstood his summer.

_Go home; don't think._ Kate repeated the mantra over and over as she packed up her things. On autopilot, she headed for the elevator, but halfway she stopped dead, spun around, and stalked off in the other direction. The stairs would definitely be less painful.

Her drive home was a blur, all thought forfeited in deference to her mantra. Not until she had gently closed her door and turned the lock did she allow the pain, anger, and though she'd never admit it, jealousy, consume her.

_How could he do this?_ She asked herself as she flung her purse onto the couch. _Why her and not me?_ But she knew the answer. Why Natalie? Because she was willing, and a fantasy. Why not Kate? Because of the past two and a half years she'd spent rebuffing his every advance.

"Damn it Kate!" She cursed herself aloud, forgoing any semblance of sanity she'd been grasping at as she began to argue with herself.

"So many times, turning him away, pushing him further and further so you could have your precious _space_." She made air quotes and screwed up her face, staring at a random point in space. Turning around, she started pacing back towards her kitchen, her argument changing direction as well.

"And _him_! Richard _fucking_ Castle! I'd thought he'd changed! Thought he'd committed!" She threw her hands out in front of her, but then her anger stuttered. "Committed? Committed to what? The precinct? Nikki? Me?" She placed her hands on her counter, terror temporarily halting everything else. She wasn't ready for thoughts like that. She knew what she wanted, but admitting it, event to herself, was just too much. "You have no claim on him Kate. It's time you come to terms with that. But whose fault is that?" She shoved herself off the counter as her anger returned.

"It's not my fault, that's for damn sure! He's the one who left! Bailed on me when I'd finally decided to give in. And now?" She asked her non-existent audience on the couch. "Now he's not even _trying_. Honestly, Natalie was dressed up! As _ME_! He wasn't even interested until she put on that damn wig. Scratch that," she said, waving her hands in front of her to clean the slate as she continued pacing. "He _hated_ her. What did he say 'Nikki is a complex character. A thinking man's cop.' Definitely _not_ Natalie Rhoades. But then she puts on that costume and suddenly he's all over her? I thought he'd grown out of being a playboy. I guess I was wrong."

Kate flopped down onto the couch. She was still fuming, but her adrenaline had mostly burned off. She knew it wasn't fair of her to accuse him of still being the playboy he was. There was no doubt he'd changed since she first met him, otherwise she never would have even considered going to the Hamptons. No, she'd known he wasn't the same Richard Castle the moment he'd actually apologized for looking into her mother's case. He'd thrown a hundred thousand dollars off into space for her. And even after he left, he came back. Maybe it hadn't happened quite the way she'd expected, but still. And then she'd _let_ him back into her life. That bet was a sham, she could at least admit that to herself; she had let him come back. And that meant something, didn't it?

"And damn it he should _know_ that!" The burn of anger ignited again and she couldn't just sit there.

She knew it was stupid, but she had to go. She knew full well that no good would come of it, but her instincts, not to mention her anger and need to express it, told her she had to talk to him. No, not talk, yell. She needed to yell at him. To glare and scream and damn it she needed him to know he as being a jackass.

Kate tried not to think; thinking would only prevent her from doing what she wanted.

_Find him; yell_. She thought, making it her new mantra. She repeated it the entire drive to his loft. There was no guarantee that he (they?) would even be there. But it was the only place she knew to look.

In the elevator she continued reciting her mantra. Her resolve had been wavering, but then she remembered when he'd stood there and told her he'd do anything, even nothing. The memory sent pain coursing through her. That night she hadn't realized how much that meant, but she did now, finally. And the fact that he would so something like this now, after she'd allowed herself to hope they could have something, was infuriating.

Kate knocked brusquely on the door, not even caring if the neighbors, or even Martha and Alexis heard. She was very close to kicking the damn thing down when if finally opened.

He was standing there in flannel pajama pants and a light grey tee. His face turned down in confusion, but she wasn't about to let him catch her off guard, even if his casual attire was distracting her with memories of when she'd been staying with him. Early mornings with his daughter running out the door for school while she sipped her coffee and he groggily tried to force smorelettes on her. She hadn't stayed more than a few days, but they had definitely made an impression on her.

_No, focus. Time to yell._ Kate reminded herself before shoving her way past him.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking?" She rounded on him as he locked the door. He stared at her and his confusion melted into guilt. For the first time she seriously wondered just how far that kiss had gone, wondered if Natalie was in the other room even now. Disgust, and still more jealousy she would never claim, boiled in her stomach at the thought. She didn't want to believe that of him, but her anger blinded her to any guilt just yet.

"Beckett, let me-" Castle started, but Kate cut him off. Listening was not on her agenda.

"Let you what, Rick?" She spat his first name at him and watched as he flinched. "Explain? I see you kissing Natalie fucking Rhoades, and you want me to let you _explain_? I'm not that naïve; there's nothing to explain. You're a playboy, Castle. You always have been! I don't know why I expected any different. You haven't changed a bit since I met you." Logically she still knew that wasn't true. Whether or not he had kissed, or Heaven forbid slept with Natalie, he had changed. She couldn't deny that. But she was so angry and hurt for reasons she wasn't yet ready to examine, and rationality just couldn't overcome that.

Kate drew in a ragged breath, steadying herself for what she was about to say. Again, she knew it was a lie, and would cut him deeply, but in that moment, the knowledge of the sting in her words just wouldn't prevent her from saying them. She'd released the dam of her emotions, and she refused to own up to the jealousy and longing, so pain and anger was all she had left. So she spit her words, never as refined as his, at him.

"No matter how much I hope to the contrary, you're still Richard Castle, millionaire playboy writer. Stick a pretty girl in front of you and you'll chase her, just like you did when you met me. Frankly, I'm just surprised it took you so long."

Kate stopped there, her rage expended, leaving only a tumultuous mix of pain, guilt, and a hint of desire that had been growing since she'd crossed the threshold.

Castle just stood there, apparently dumbstruck. She could see the wheels turning in his head; knew he was searching for the right words. He was always so careful with how he expressed himself. The way he found surprised her, as always.

"You have no right." His voice was calm, but she could see the fire in his eyes, and she knew his time to yell wasn't far off. "You have no right to tell me what I should or shouldn't do. No right to cast disdain upon my lifestyle. And," he was getting heated now, his face reddening slightly as his voice rose, "you have _no right_ to tell me that I haven't changed since I met you, when we both know that is a complete lie. You and I both know, Kate, that I have changed." Though his voice was still forceful, not quite yelling but almost, when he said her name there was none of the bite she'd put into his. It was as if he reveled in the opportunity to say it, since it was so rarely afforded. Him using her first name made the guilt burn hotter alongside her melted desire. She loved it when he called her Kate, even if it was across the bullpen trying to get her to stop and talk to him, and now was no different. But she had to focus, he was still angry, and saying something important, even if it was something she didn't exactly want to hear. "I've altered my entire fucking life! All so you would so much as _look_ at me. I've been here Kate, just waiting to deserve you, waiting to be worthy of such an amazing woman as you. And now here you are, berating me with false accusations and misconceptions."

He took a step towards her, anger pouring off him and her guilt only grew. How could this have gone so differently than she'd planned? She was supposed to yell, he was supposed to feel guilty, not the other way around. Of course, she had earned her guilt, she knew that now. Her plan to yell had been selfish and she hadn't even considered that she may not have all the information. She deserved admonition, and as Castle continued, she struggled to keep her eyes off her shoes.

"The _truth_ is that Natalie kissed _me_. I was caught off guard, but as soon as I got my head back on I stopped it." Kate, who had been looking anywhere but his eyes, mostly at his lips, flicked hers to his. This wasn't what she'd been expecting to hear, an explanation maybe, but not this; fresh guilt (could she feel any guiltier?) settled in her stomach.

"That's right, Writer Boy has some self control. And then, now here's the kicker Kate, she invited me back to her hotel, but I declined. Do you know why?" He took another step closer, moving into her personal space.

She didn't want to hear why; she already knew. And to think all the things she'd said. She wanted to look away in shame, to cry at her foolishness, to do anything but meet his eye, but he wouldn't let her. He held her gaze simply with the intensity of his own. And she saw the truth in his words as he spoke, his voice softening immediately.

"Because she wasn't _you_. No amount of make up, clothing, or wigs would have made her you, Kate." She could tell his anger still burned hot, but it seemed to have shifted somehow. She didn't understand the look in his eyes, was that resignation? "So no, I did not go home with Natalie fucking Rhoades. And we both know I never would."

He was right. She knew him well enough now that she shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, should have trusted him.

She was speechless, could not think of a single thing to say. They both stood there, a foot away from each other, for a few seconds. He waiting for a reply, she failing to find one. Finally, Castle sighed, turned away from her, and walked into his office without even bothering to close the door behind him.

Kate didn't move for several moments, warring with herself. She was terrified and was more than tempted to run right out the door. But she couldn't stop replaying his words in her head. "Waiting to deserve you." "She wasn't you." She knew what those words could mean, and the hope that flooded her mind and heart when he'd said them would not allow her feet to walk out the door. Instead, she turned and followed him into his office.

She found him leaning against what she presumed was his bedroom door. His face was in his hands as she approached; it was obvious he didn't hear her come in. She didn't know exactly what she was doing, but for once she didn't care. She didn't want to think. Thinking would force her to look at her, their, future, and that was too much for now. She didn't want to think, she just wanted to touch him.

When she stepped up to him; he still hadn't realized she was there, so he startled when she took a wrist in each hand and pulled them away from his face. When they hung limply at his sides, she released them and moved her hands back up to cup each side of his face. Her fingers tangled themselves in his hair.

Standing on her toes so they were absolutely level, she looked him dead in the eyes, her nose a mere inch from his, and tried to convey everything she was feeling. The fear, guilt, shame, and lust pouring out of her as tears threatened to spill from where they'd welled up in her eyes. Before they could, she spoke, saying the only words she could come up with, knowing they would never be sufficient.

"I'm sorry."

His face broke then. Anger gave way to forgiveness and- _No_, that was too much, too fast. She couldn't handle that yet. But she knew it was there, and she couldn't deny it was probably written on her own face as well.

Kate dove at Castle, locking her lips with his. He moaned as she bit softly at his lower lip, the feel of which was sending electric heat coursing through her, pooling low and hot.

Castle's hands wound around her waist, his fingers dipping under her shirt as he pulled her closer. Their hips met and it was her turn to moan. Castle's tongue invaded her mouth, swallowing the sound.

His fingers tensed against her back and he pulled her closer still; she wasn't sure closer was possible while they still had clothes on, but she loved the sensation of his body against hers. Her hands wandered down and to his sides where she took fistfuls of his shirt as she rocked her hips against his. The delicious friction almost broke her. Releasing her grip on his shirt, she wove her hands back up to rest on his chest. She returned her attention to his mouth, tangling her tongue with his with newfound fervor.

As their mouths dueled, his fingers skimmed their way higher beneath her shirt. When his thumbs grazed over her bra she shuddered and felt Castle smile against her lips. She broke them apart and laughed into his shoulder.

"Yes." She whispered as she pulled his shirt aside to kiss his clavicle.

"Huh?" He asked, a little breathless as he pulled Kate back to look at her. She smiled.

"You were going to ask if I was sure. I am." The smile fell off her face when she saw the shock and unashamed joy sparkling in his eyes. She reached around him and turned the doorknob.

She felt him tense, catching his balance as the door swung away from him. She leaned in to bit his ear gently before whispering.

"I expect pancakes in the morning."

* * *

**AN 2: **Okay, tell me what you think! Please!

Goodness this is the longest one I've ever written! Yay!


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